“…As time went on, I got more confused. I wanted to believe him, and I remained loyal on the surface, riding it out, but a part of me was becoming really scared that I had gotten myself in deep, emotionally and financially, with a con-artist…”

“…These little things were not a huge deal, until a major accusation took place…”

“…I tried to hold my shit together, but the jealousy was raging internally by then. I had completely checked out of the conversation, looking around uncomfortably, arms crossed, foot tapping like a maniac. I didn't want to leave them out here by themselves, and set the stage for whatever the fuck to happen. But the build was too strong…”

“…Jealousy has been a major problem in my life. It's rooted in deep insecurity, and something I haven't been able to even manage well, much less heal it. It could be a problem here…”

“…For about a month, I was in my intensive language phase, as I didn't even hear English the entire time. Time spent bonding, exploring the village, going out, having ceremony at the Elder's, and basically cleaning up as the early stages of my Ayahuasca apprenticeship got underway…”

“…I was at an impasse. I knew in this moment, my next move was crucial. I thought for a second about the money I had in deposits that had taken a lot of work for me to make…”

“…After only a couple hours of sleep, I woke up and the sadness set in. I was an emotional wreck, and I couldn't even really figure out why. I slipped out into my bunkhouse to write in my journal. Through angry sobs, I scribbled frantically…”

“…I felt so connected to my true self after working in Ayahuasca ceremony. Like nothing could touch me - I'd seen myself and my truth and everything else would just - align. I didn't expect a post-Ayahuasca crash…”

“…We are about to partake in Ayahuasca ceremonies with indigenous shamans, on the native land where the plants grow in the Amazon. My heart lit up in intrigued excitement as to the rarity of the experience. You couldn't force this shit to happen if you tried…”